You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
