If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
