we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
