She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
