She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
