I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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