I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
