wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
