I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
