What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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