i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
