I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Bring me that man meat
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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