Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize