I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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