I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
