It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
