Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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