Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.

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(716): View more from New York

i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.

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(716): View more from New York

Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.

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(563): View more from Iowa

The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.

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(847): View more from Illinois

We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?

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(704): View more from North Carolina

First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.

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