dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I had to cum in my sink.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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