They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm getting married
To pizza
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
