I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
