You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
