She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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