i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
