Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
May the power of my ass compel you!!
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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