put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
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