dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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