Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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