guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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