Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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