somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
