nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
