Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize