i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
