its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
