I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
