I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
my sisters under your porch take her home
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
