just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
