Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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