the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
