I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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