i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
