Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
