I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
