Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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