it hurts more in the daytime
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
