I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
