Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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