If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
