I'm lost and stupid without you.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
