this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
