I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
