I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
