What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
