No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
you win again, gameday.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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