Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
