Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
They left me at home... I'm a liability
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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