Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
