You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
