you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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